As from the days of the garden of Eden the forbidden fruit had been the problem. Adam and Eve got thrown from the garden and had to fend for themselves from then. What was said.... they got the ability to distinguish good from bad and thus had to live their lives constantly making choices between these things. They felt naked and for the first time they were embarassed and made clothes......
Hmmmmmmmm........... all in all do we blame the snake, the woman or the forbidden fruit for loosing innocense?
Innocense are so beautiful still most people constantly seek to find so called "wisdom".. I am just wondering whether there can be innocense in wisdom.... actually more accurately.... is there innocense in compassion?
To truely understand - one would have to have had a very close encounter to a very similar situation - thus doesnt that take your innocense away in regards to that situation. I am not talking about naivity, I am talking about true innocense.... not knowing even of the existance of that forbidden fruit. Not even dreaming of tasting, or experiencing or resisting.
Sometimes I feel a bit soiled by my chosen profession. Very young we were sat down and told about the suffering, the "dirty", the "crazy", the total unfairness of being a patient of whatever nature, surgical, psychiatric, neurologic, oncology.... whatever. Death.... the fact that people die are experienced at a time in our lives, when some other students are wondering what to do with their upcoming holidays. Holidays just meant more hours in the hospital, because we dont need to be in class.
When people hear that I am a nurse, then most would be quite comfortable to share intimate details about their lives, about their health about their families. Sometimes I feel like saying "TOO MUCH INFORMATION".... but I dont because obviously there is a need to discuss these things. I know I should not compare, but when I listen to for example the radio shows. Where people go all hysterical about bodily habits of "some" people... I wonder....
Wait I am digressing, I am talking about forbidden fruit. My point I wanted to make is - it feels like the more you are exposed to understanding humanity and of the feet of clay of most people, one gets a very forgiving nature on the one side... but on the flip side, one also starts to justify actions or not?
Social conditioning has taught me forbidden fruit is a bad thing to be avoided. I know there is limits to everything and it is no use to pretend that our parents were maybe mistaken.... in some instances.... ????
I am struggling a bit with what is right and what is wrong in my mind, I know LOVE and ultimately, I try to act lovingly.... but can one act lovingly towards everybody in every single situation.
The nature of who I am has caused me to taste, or at least smell forbidden fruit daily..... :-(.... am I growing in wisdom or am I slowly poisoning myself from the inside?
I have established that the wheels of life turns and what comes around goes around. Actually I dont want to know or care anymore... I just want to be wise in my innocense of not knowing ..... forget .... about the fruit in the middle of the garden.
Or do I?
*sigh*
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