There isnt a lot of things that add great value to a person's life, but this morning as I was driving to work, the thought of my dad, Mr PJ Meintjes, made me think, that there are somethings, that should be mentioned.
A common idea exists that chivalry is dead and the female emancipation supports this idea 120%. Well, I am an independant woman, but there are certain things that is just so beautiful, it isnt things necessarily taught to men by there mom's, because I've seen brother's act differently... it is something flowing out of the core of the MAN, the REAL MAN!!
I believe I am still single, because I measure everybody else against the standards my dad has set, which is quite high... given, he does care for all of us, my mother and my sisters dearly! He is not perfect, nobody is, but you can count on him to be the man, doesnt matter where life has left him.
I never got this idea of being the "man" in the house, I thought it was an ancient notion, which had no place in the modern society and then suddenly, I moved back home for a few weeks and I lived through a paradigm shift, I forgot, what I had experienced as a child, before I moved out 19 years ago.
Let me give you a few examples, from my dad and from other men, I can still remember, because being who they are made them worth remembering!!
My dad is terribly ill the last few weeks, he is struggling to walk and he actually fell twice in the past two weeks, from just being in too much pain to actually "lift his legs".. at first when I moved home, I thought we will probably have to baby him. No, on the contrary, shuffle shuffle, my dad would walk to the front gate to open it, for me before I would leave for work. He would get up and still add value to the household. Yes, it is taking him longer, but he has his pride and although in pain and tired, he would stay : " Mommy I will move those 5 koi, from the one dam to the other!" In my mind, I'd like to see it happen, but I am sure he will make it happen. I take my hat off to this man in my life.
I dont want to be waited on hands and foot, my dad is very quick to tell me to do the dishes... ;-) ....
More examples, I knew a guy who would get up off his chair, the moment a lady / woman enters the room, no matter her status and looks. At first I was taken aback, how to react, and then I noticed, it is just respect and acknowledgement and with this respectful gesture, my respect for this young man is more than you can believe.
The other morning I walked out of my home and the neighbour, backed his wife's car out the garage and left it running, ready for her to leave, she came out of the house, with him opening doors, as she climbed in the car with their 2 year old baby, on the way to work. He did this as if it is the most natural thing on earth.
It is the little things that makes an amazing MAN! Those things you do, because it comes from your soul! You dont treat some people badly and other's with respect, because they add value to your life. You will treat the waitress with the same respect as your date... and I will know you are a REAL MAN!
Whether us independent women would like to know it or not, we are the weaker sex and we ream about a strong man at our side. Not muscles, but soul! Yes, it is easier for you to pick up heavy things, but that pain is fleeting, I will do it myself, if need be. But oh, treating me with respect, especially if I am a stranger...... WOW! WOW! WOW! What a MAN you are?! I would pray that I would be a WOMAN of WORTH, that could stand by your side and support you through your hard times.
Like I will do now, as a daughter, to the most wonderful Father! Thanku for loving me Pappie, but more thank you for respecting me as a person.
Monday 17 October 2011
Sunday 11 September 2011
Is being a strong woman a sin?
Is it just me? Or is an independent thinking woman often a misunderstood woman?
Why when a woman gets older, she is less likely to find a partner that she would be able to adapt to?
I've always been fascinated with the history of the witches and the witch hunts. I do believe yes, power does corrupt and some of these women were really powerful, due to their knowledge and influence, but nobody would be able to tell me that they were all evil!
Why do being a witch, also goes with being a healer? I actually found an article that aligns my profession nursing to the witch practice. (http://tmh.floonet.net/articles/witches.html)
Here is a short snippet from the article:
"Who were the witches, then, and what were their "crimes" that could arouse such vicious upper class suppression? Undoubtedly, over the centuries of witch hunting, the charge of "witchcraft" came to cover a multitude of sins ranging from political subversion and religious heresy to lewdness and blasphemy. But three central accusations emerge repeatedly in the history of witchcraft throughout northern Europe: First, witches are accused of every conceivable sexual crime against men. Quite simply, they are "accused" of female sexuality. Second, they are accused of being organized. Third, they are accused of having magical powers affecting health—of harming, but also of healing. They were often charged specifically with possessing medical and obstetrical skills.
First, consider the charge of sexual crimes. The medieval Catholic Church elevated sexism to a point of principle: The Malleus declares, "When a woman thinks alone, she thinks evil.""
Sometimes I feel like I am alienated, because I call a spade a spade, but in the same sense,some people keep on coming back for more. My path has not been the normal path of creating my own little family and creating a home. There are times when I do feel insufficient, I cant understand, why a girl of 16 could be given the gift of a child, but at 36 I seem to be barren.
However things are clearer and clearer, that I am here to help heal. I've kicked against my purpose, selfishly clinging to things that I believed would make me as an individual happy.... and somehow that selfishness has never brought me any satisfaction or happiness, I've lost everything and anything that kinda meant a lot to me....
Somehow the moment I accept that nothing and nobody would be mine, things go better, the conflict lessens.
So the fact that I have a mine of my own and that I call a spade a spade and that I dont need anybody, I want people in my life.... doesnt make me a "wrong" person.. an evil person.... a feminist, as someone once called me.
I am actually quite serving..... I love healing and serving and helping....
This witch is finding her place in society.... let me think a bit more... and watch this spot.
:-)
Why when a woman gets older, she is less likely to find a partner that she would be able to adapt to?
I've always been fascinated with the history of the witches and the witch hunts. I do believe yes, power does corrupt and some of these women were really powerful, due to their knowledge and influence, but nobody would be able to tell me that they were all evil!
Why do being a witch, also goes with being a healer? I actually found an article that aligns my profession nursing to the witch practice. (http://tmh.floonet.net/articles/witches.html)
Here is a short snippet from the article:
"Who were the witches, then, and what were their "crimes" that could arouse such vicious upper class suppression? Undoubtedly, over the centuries of witch hunting, the charge of "witchcraft" came to cover a multitude of sins ranging from political subversion and religious heresy to lewdness and blasphemy. But three central accusations emerge repeatedly in the history of witchcraft throughout northern Europe: First, witches are accused of every conceivable sexual crime against men. Quite simply, they are "accused" of female sexuality. Second, they are accused of being organized. Third, they are accused of having magical powers affecting health—of harming, but also of healing. They were often charged specifically with possessing medical and obstetrical skills.
First, consider the charge of sexual crimes. The medieval Catholic Church elevated sexism to a point of principle: The Malleus declares, "When a woman thinks alone, she thinks evil.""
Sometimes I feel like I am alienated, because I call a spade a spade, but in the same sense,some people keep on coming back for more. My path has not been the normal path of creating my own little family and creating a home. There are times when I do feel insufficient, I cant understand, why a girl of 16 could be given the gift of a child, but at 36 I seem to be barren.
However things are clearer and clearer, that I am here to help heal. I've kicked against my purpose, selfishly clinging to things that I believed would make me as an individual happy.... and somehow that selfishness has never brought me any satisfaction or happiness, I've lost everything and anything that kinda meant a lot to me....
Somehow the moment I accept that nothing and nobody would be mine, things go better, the conflict lessens.
So the fact that I have a mine of my own and that I call a spade a spade and that I dont need anybody, I want people in my life.... doesnt make me a "wrong" person.. an evil person.... a feminist, as someone once called me.
I am actually quite serving..... I love healing and serving and helping....
This witch is finding her place in society.... let me think a bit more... and watch this spot.
:-)
Monday 5 September 2011
My DAD.....
My dad is probably one of the people I can look up to most. He has such a wonderful sense of humor. At this point in his life he is very ill, he is starting to show symptoms of Raynaud's disease. He has so much pain, at the moment the middle finger in his left hand is blue in colour and the slightest touch has my dad in pain.
He went to see a vascular specialist, who told my dad he would have to amputate. My dad, looked at him seriously and then asked: " How am I supposed to get from Jo'burg back home then, without my finger?".... The doctor puzzled didnt quite get my dad's meaning..... My dad smiled and said : " I need to be able to show these stupid drivers n Jo'burg my middle finger " Holding the blue finger up in the air!
I love my dad so much. Seeing him get old and frail, is such a brick in my stomach not to mention my heart.
As he told me this story I remember other stories of how he would suprise people with his wit, sometimes, people might even miss it, because he does it with so much convincing....
He was stopped by a traffic cop once, for speeding.... The cop was filling in the form and at the question : "Occupation".. my dad responded... " I am a planner"... .the cop looked at him, like if to say.... huh?.... my dad continued by saying.... " I definitely didnt plan this!"
I love my dad so much, I would do anything to be able to make his suffering less. Reading up on Raynaud's disease and praying that he will have many comfortable years for me, my mom and the rest of my sisters!
Love you DAD!
He went to see a vascular specialist, who told my dad he would have to amputate. My dad, looked at him seriously and then asked: " How am I supposed to get from Jo'burg back home then, without my finger?".... The doctor puzzled didnt quite get my dad's meaning..... My dad smiled and said : " I need to be able to show these stupid drivers n Jo'burg my middle finger " Holding the blue finger up in the air!
I love my dad so much. Seeing him get old and frail, is such a brick in my stomach not to mention my heart.
As he told me this story I remember other stories of how he would suprise people with his wit, sometimes, people might even miss it, because he does it with so much convincing....
He was stopped by a traffic cop once, for speeding.... The cop was filling in the form and at the question : "Occupation".. my dad responded... " I am a planner"... .the cop looked at him, like if to say.... huh?.... my dad continued by saying.... " I definitely didnt plan this!"
I love my dad so much, I would do anything to be able to make his suffering less. Reading up on Raynaud's disease and praying that he will have many comfortable years for me, my mom and the rest of my sisters!
Love you DAD!
Monday 22 August 2011
I dont wanna be PITIFUL!
Ever looked someone or some animal in the eye and felt that stinging pang of pity? It makes me feel sick to the stomach..... How can I stop imagining their pain?
Today I saw a man in the spar he was so dirty and thin, that he must be sleeping in the felt somewhere, he was rubbing a few coins together while having a 100ml bottle of milk in his hands, his pants were too short... most people stared at him in disgust, as if to accuse him of filling their space with his unwanted presence.
I closed my eyes and breathed deeply..... waiting for the pang of pain to disappear in my chest. My basket felt heavy in my hands. I shook my head, I work hard for the little money that I do have and he didnt ask for anything, so how dare I pity him, would I want somebody to pity me, if I do not look like the general bloke??
On my way to work I stopped at a traffic light and infront of me the Roodepoort SPCA van drove past, an old dog was sitting in a cage, looking so unhappy and forlorn, wasnt even trying to look out and see what is going on outside the cage? "PANG" the pain in my chest again, I had to swallow very hard not to start crying right there and then. How long before he gets the "injection", he is definitely not a cute puppy anymore and definitely didnt seem like a robust watch dog?! I brought the image of my happy dachsies in my mind, how they stare at me and is with me and soak up the love I give them and they give me plenty in return... how happy they are if they get their "kossies" in the morning...... doesnt kill the pain.
I go visit my frail aunt, only bone and skin, she cant feed herself anymore, she has to wear nappies and the "lady", even through the dimentia and parkinsons, will NOT do a number two in her nappies. She had a bright moment during my short visit, to help with the pressure sore that formed on her ancle - she told me how one of these days she's going to walk the streets - I joked and said that we will have a carnaval down Kruger Avenue.... oh and she laughed (she cant even move herself in bed from one sore hip, to the other)......
I was thinking about all of this, I was thinking about the people who are in unhappy relationships, I was thinking about the hungry children, the rebels who are dying for their cause in Tripoli... I was thinking of the rhyno's that are being killed for only a small part of their big carcass.... I was thinking - I was thinking.....
.... and I realised, if you cant do something, do not pity. Rather send love, light and positive thoughts to those people. Would I want someone to cry harder than me, when I go through a tough time, or would l like to see a vision of hope and possibly a brighter future.... or even an end to suffering whatever that might mean.
I dont wanna be pitied... now to teach my heart to refrain from aching and feeling sorry, rather just do what I can and smile?! The sufferer might appreciate a smile?
*sigh*
Today I saw a man in the spar he was so dirty and thin, that he must be sleeping in the felt somewhere, he was rubbing a few coins together while having a 100ml bottle of milk in his hands, his pants were too short... most people stared at him in disgust, as if to accuse him of filling their space with his unwanted presence.
I closed my eyes and breathed deeply..... waiting for the pang of pain to disappear in my chest. My basket felt heavy in my hands. I shook my head, I work hard for the little money that I do have and he didnt ask for anything, so how dare I pity him, would I want somebody to pity me, if I do not look like the general bloke??
On my way to work I stopped at a traffic light and infront of me the Roodepoort SPCA van drove past, an old dog was sitting in a cage, looking so unhappy and forlorn, wasnt even trying to look out and see what is going on outside the cage? "PANG" the pain in my chest again, I had to swallow very hard not to start crying right there and then. How long before he gets the "injection", he is definitely not a cute puppy anymore and definitely didnt seem like a robust watch dog?! I brought the image of my happy dachsies in my mind, how they stare at me and is with me and soak up the love I give them and they give me plenty in return... how happy they are if they get their "kossies" in the morning...... doesnt kill the pain.
I go visit my frail aunt, only bone and skin, she cant feed herself anymore, she has to wear nappies and the "lady", even through the dimentia and parkinsons, will NOT do a number two in her nappies. She had a bright moment during my short visit, to help with the pressure sore that formed on her ancle - she told me how one of these days she's going to walk the streets - I joked and said that we will have a carnaval down Kruger Avenue.... oh and she laughed (she cant even move herself in bed from one sore hip, to the other)......
I was thinking about all of this, I was thinking about the people who are in unhappy relationships, I was thinking about the hungry children, the rebels who are dying for their cause in Tripoli... I was thinking of the rhyno's that are being killed for only a small part of their big carcass.... I was thinking - I was thinking.....
.... and I realised, if you cant do something, do not pity. Rather send love, light and positive thoughts to those people. Would I want someone to cry harder than me, when I go through a tough time, or would l like to see a vision of hope and possibly a brighter future.... or even an end to suffering whatever that might mean.
I dont wanna be pitied... now to teach my heart to refrain from aching and feeling sorry, rather just do what I can and smile?! The sufferer might appreciate a smile?
*sigh*
Sunday 14 August 2011
He loves me... He loves me not... he loves me.... *sigh*
He loves me... He loves me not... he loves me..... *sigh*... round and round I go. I see that it is my 21st blog here, so I thought it fitting to right about probably the most important topic in every person's life.
We all have the want and need to love and be loved. Yes there are so many types of "love" - but is there really? I once had the opportunity for a school competition to speak on the facts of love - I was the lucky one who had to talk on the facts, the other 3 in the team, could speak about the emotions, which off course is way more interesting. (bit of useless info)
I can remember going down the list, mother love (probably the purest), platonic love.... etc. Today however I want to speak about romantic love. I believe every little girl dreams of being a princess in her life and that her price charming would find her and they would live happily ever after.
Do I still wish that - being 30 something, already on the downhill to 40? Off course, but does this person exist, how can this princess prepare for such a man? I dont wish to swallow a poisoned apple, neither do I want to sleep for a hundred years... however I believe that all the romantic experiences I've gone through - obviously still hasnt prepared me sufficiently for my prince or he is majorly lost or maybe waylayed or he never ever existed or life decided to take him early.....
Well, my blog today, is like Julio song's " To all the men I've loved before...... and in a way still do!" :-)
My next blog might be about the pain I had from most of these experiences but here is the good! (some names have been changed)
Brenton - My very first love and he loved me back. Wow! What an experience for a 15 year old, but I was 15, I wanted to play not really love and I hurt you, but thank you for seeing me!
Konnie - a teenager's impulse to ask an outsider girl to dance - the only dance for the evening, made me feel like a princess. We are still friends and he still calls me princess. Konnie I love you for that.
Man with the black beetle (Gerhard) - I wish I was more mature when I met you. You wanted support, a friend to love and cherish, you saw me and loved me between loads of beauties, you decided to get to know me and you did. You were patient with the wild child - busy with her first year at varsity and relishing my new freedom. I broke your heart, because I was a butterfly in the wind this time, I saw this and I wish I could find you to tell you how sorry I am for that.
PieterFR - My LOVE, my husband of 6 and a bit years. My best friend - I cant help but I am crying while I am writing this, you also met the wild child, but you decided I was worth hanging on to and you spoilt me, boy, did you spoil me. I was so safe with you - but somehow something went wrong. No blame in this blog (sometimes I feel most with me) - thank you for loving me, I know you loved me still, even though you remarried..... Life decided to take you 29 Aug 2007. My memories of us I am saving very very tenderly.
Tim - All or nothing love. You made me feel special again. The way you never answered the phone when in my company, the way you prepared a playlist to play when expecting me for dinner and then taking all that trouble to make me feel special. We were not meant to be either and you found love before life also took you away in 2008. I havent seen you in years, but even from the grave you made me feel special, you must have told your new wife about me, because she sent me invitation to your memorial service, never meeting me or knowing who I was, it must have been you. Thank you Tim.
Deacon - The boy - forever young (he is older than me). I just loved you - because you wanted to be in my life. You made me feel like a woman - hard to explain. Didnt get anything but attention from you, but thank you for that.
Nige - Geesh I needed you to find myself. You made me see life for what it really is - you helped me see myself for who I really am. You made me realise that no relationship with me was working, because I wasnt being me, I was trying to be who people wanted me to be. I thank you for time and energy, you were the one sitting in my kitchen while I was breaking down, just hearing of Pieter's death. You were the one who invited me into your family and arranged birthday parties for me at your house. I still feel we are very much connected, because when I feel low, you phone or sms me. Thank you for your time and energy, I believe we still love each other and always will, we just genuinely dont understand how the other sees the world. I actually know you going to read this and I can just hear you! WTF!!!! and I am smiling.
Divemaster - I experienced cloud 9 with you. I fell in love with you in a big way - thank you for noticing me at a time in my life, when that is the last thing I would expect. I needed to know that I was worth noticing - always taking me by the hand in public meant a lot to me. Thank you - will always love you for making me feel beautiful, when I couldnt see it myself anymore.
Old friend - This was a suprise and amazing that you have loved me for so long and that you only wished to get to know the real me. For all these years. I love you for who you are for what we have shared - as friends. I have to let you go, because you will never be mine.
As you can see I have been blessed with love and I am so-so thankful, but also sad, that life, situations, whatever could not allow me to keep any of these wonderful guys or make them stay. I am blessed with friends who love me and I know some of them are reading this and thinking that I miss the moon by counting the stars.
Do I still believe in love - my love, my only love. I dont know anymore......
*sigh* ... I want to... .I might be an old princess, with battle wounds, but I'd like to be someone's princess for ever after. ;-)
We all have the want and need to love and be loved. Yes there are so many types of "love" - but is there really? I once had the opportunity for a school competition to speak on the facts of love - I was the lucky one who had to talk on the facts, the other 3 in the team, could speak about the emotions, which off course is way more interesting. (bit of useless info)
I can remember going down the list, mother love (probably the purest), platonic love.... etc. Today however I want to speak about romantic love. I believe every little girl dreams of being a princess in her life and that her price charming would find her and they would live happily ever after.
Do I still wish that - being 30 something, already on the downhill to 40? Off course, but does this person exist, how can this princess prepare for such a man? I dont wish to swallow a poisoned apple, neither do I want to sleep for a hundred years... however I believe that all the romantic experiences I've gone through - obviously still hasnt prepared me sufficiently for my prince or he is majorly lost or maybe waylayed or he never ever existed or life decided to take him early.....
Well, my blog today, is like Julio song's " To all the men I've loved before...... and in a way still do!" :-)
My next blog might be about the pain I had from most of these experiences but here is the good! (some names have been changed)
Brenton - My very first love and he loved me back. Wow! What an experience for a 15 year old, but I was 15, I wanted to play not really love and I hurt you, but thank you for seeing me!
Konnie - a teenager's impulse to ask an outsider girl to dance - the only dance for the evening, made me feel like a princess. We are still friends and he still calls me princess. Konnie I love you for that.
Man with the black beetle (Gerhard) - I wish I was more mature when I met you. You wanted support, a friend to love and cherish, you saw me and loved me between loads of beauties, you decided to get to know me and you did. You were patient with the wild child - busy with her first year at varsity and relishing my new freedom. I broke your heart, because I was a butterfly in the wind this time, I saw this and I wish I could find you to tell you how sorry I am for that.
PieterFR - My LOVE, my husband of 6 and a bit years. My best friend - I cant help but I am crying while I am writing this, you also met the wild child, but you decided I was worth hanging on to and you spoilt me, boy, did you spoil me. I was so safe with you - but somehow something went wrong. No blame in this blog (sometimes I feel most with me) - thank you for loving me, I know you loved me still, even though you remarried..... Life decided to take you 29 Aug 2007. My memories of us I am saving very very tenderly.
Tim - All or nothing love. You made me feel special again. The way you never answered the phone when in my company, the way you prepared a playlist to play when expecting me for dinner and then taking all that trouble to make me feel special. We were not meant to be either and you found love before life also took you away in 2008. I havent seen you in years, but even from the grave you made me feel special, you must have told your new wife about me, because she sent me invitation to your memorial service, never meeting me or knowing who I was, it must have been you. Thank you Tim.
Deacon - The boy - forever young (he is older than me). I just loved you - because you wanted to be in my life. You made me feel like a woman - hard to explain. Didnt get anything but attention from you, but thank you for that.
Nige - Geesh I needed you to find myself. You made me see life for what it really is - you helped me see myself for who I really am. You made me realise that no relationship with me was working, because I wasnt being me, I was trying to be who people wanted me to be. I thank you for time and energy, you were the one sitting in my kitchen while I was breaking down, just hearing of Pieter's death. You were the one who invited me into your family and arranged birthday parties for me at your house. I still feel we are very much connected, because when I feel low, you phone or sms me. Thank you for your time and energy, I believe we still love each other and always will, we just genuinely dont understand how the other sees the world. I actually know you going to read this and I can just hear you! WTF!!!! and I am smiling.
Divemaster - I experienced cloud 9 with you. I fell in love with you in a big way - thank you for noticing me at a time in my life, when that is the last thing I would expect. I needed to know that I was worth noticing - always taking me by the hand in public meant a lot to me. Thank you - will always love you for making me feel beautiful, when I couldnt see it myself anymore.
Old friend - This was a suprise and amazing that you have loved me for so long and that you only wished to get to know the real me. For all these years. I love you for who you are for what we have shared - as friends. I have to let you go, because you will never be mine.
As you can see I have been blessed with love and I am so-so thankful, but also sad, that life, situations, whatever could not allow me to keep any of these wonderful guys or make them stay. I am blessed with friends who love me and I know some of them are reading this and thinking that I miss the moon by counting the stars.
Do I still believe in love - my love, my only love. I dont know anymore......
*sigh* ... I want to... .I might be an old princess, with battle wounds, but I'd like to be someone's princess for ever after. ;-)
Wednesday 10 August 2011
Spare wheel .......
Today I felt like a spare wheel, like I dont belong. We move around in areas and situations that we know, that we can predict. I had a project that went wrong in an area where I was the only white face to be seen for hours. I am not afraid of my fellow South Africans, I have not had a racist hair on my head for years. Still having people react to you, like you dont belong, made me feel like maybe I dont.... :-(
I knew I had a purpose and I was adamant on succeeding, I never once felt like I was in danger, I just felt out of place.... People tried to be kind, by trying to speak to me in Afrikaans, South Africans definitely still have some sense of the rainbow nation. I just wish one didnt feel like the outsider, the spare wheel....
I know to get rid of this feeling, one needs to move around more in spaces, where you are the spare wheel or the stranger. Life's pressures just sometimes cause that we try and avoid just that. Keep to the known, the safe, the "RUT"??
Oh, well, to grow you need to move out of your comfort zone.... I hope I can?!
I knew I had a purpose and I was adamant on succeeding, I never once felt like I was in danger, I just felt out of place.... People tried to be kind, by trying to speak to me in Afrikaans, South Africans definitely still have some sense of the rainbow nation. I just wish one didnt feel like the outsider, the spare wheel....
I know to get rid of this feeling, one needs to move around more in spaces, where you are the spare wheel or the stranger. Life's pressures just sometimes cause that we try and avoid just that. Keep to the known, the safe, the "RUT"??
Oh, well, to grow you need to move out of your comfort zone.... I hope I can?!
Monday 8 August 2011
25 Ways to deal with betrayal.........
In no particular order they are as follows:
Reflect: Spend time analysing and reflecting on the whole event and ask yourself if the relationship/friendship is worth salvaging. Once you’ve taken time to reflect on the issue, you may proceed with a cautious confrontation. Confront the issues that led to the betrayal. It’s important you have all the correct information/facts before any confrontation and when you decide to take that step ensure you are clear, direct and exercise a bit of restraint on your temper.
Take things easy: Don’t be so hard on yourself because you were betrayed. There is always a tendency for you accept unnecessary blame for the turnout of events or resort to harmful practices as a means to alleviate the hurt. Cut yourself some slack and be encouraged by things that give you meaning.
Let go: Let go of your emotions constructively. Cry if it will make you feel better, take long walks. Don’t be embarrassed at it. Whatever you do, make sure it’s constructive and makes you feel better after all you are the one that’s been BETRAYED!!!
Build Courage: It’s a difficult and painful experience but you’ve got to sum up the courage and acknowledge betrayal is a part of life. If managed properly it equips you with a better understanding for future relationships with friends, family, colleagues…….
Integrity: Show some dignity in dealing with a betrayal. Be a man or woman of few words and manage the whole situation with your integrity intact.
Reconcile: Keep an open heart and mind to reconciliation. It’s difficult, but learn to forgive and move on.
Set Goals: Be determined to come out of the whole experience of betrayal stronger with new ideals, thought patterns and character.
Get Inspired: Be inspired/empowered by listening to, reading and watching positive media that will contribute to uplifting your spirits which results in strengthening your emotions while going through the betrayal.
Build Your Self Confidence: Look for constructive ways to rebuild your personality, self confidence and esteem.
Think Constructively: Think carefully and constructively on your future actions in old and new relationships. Do you want to give it one more chance, take a break or walk away from it completely?
Face Your Fears: Face your fears by taking risks, building positive relationships, discussing or sharing them with friends, family…..
Network: Avoid being alone through the period of betrayal. Spend a lot of time with other friends, family, colleagues….. They could serve as listening ears and provide all sorts of encouragement.
Optimism: Show a bit of optimism in everything you do, it helps in putting the past behind you and gives you a positive approach to dealing with betrayal.
Hold Back On Revenge: I’m not sure if revenge is worth your time. It’s a display of maturity if you do not resort to the same tactics used or different game plans to hurt anyone.
Personal Development: Focus on your personal growth, appearance and development.
No Self Harm Please: Avoid all forms of self harm. Don’t turn to alcohol or drugs as a quick route to escape from the hurt or drown your sorrows. The pain will still be there in the morning along with a hangover!
Self Denial: Be secured in who, what and whom you are. Learn to deal with all your insecurities. Stop living in self denial and feeling sorry for yourself. Experiencing a betrayal is tough but think constructively and create a positive attitude around you. Work on building trustworthy relationships with other people. You must know what you want from a new relationship or friendship.
Use Your Intuition: Start paying more attention to your feelings, thoughts and intuition keeping your eyes open, heart protected slightly and head in place. Please note: This shouldn’t make you overbearingly suspicious of anybody, event or circumstance.
Stay Active: Be active. Research shows that there is a close relationship between your physical and mental health so try exercising, go dancing (Salsa), take a walk, start a hobby……….
Love Again: The toughest lesson is learning to love/trust again. It’s difficult but you’ve got to remember not everyone is going to act like your ex, friend, colleague, spouse….
Think Of The Future: Let your thoughts of the future be inspiring, memorable, motivating and encouraging.
Stop Worrying: Worry less and develop a new focus. It reduces your anxiety levels and prevents you from constantly making all kinds of unnecessary assumptions.
Celebrate Your Progress: You’ve been betrayed, so what!!!! Be happy with any progress or changes you make in any sphere of your life using it as a springboard to developing new friendships or relationships.
Patience: Exercise a lot of patience when experiencing a betrayal. It allows you handle various situations with confidence and assurance knowing a solution definitely exists.
Seek Professional Help: Where/When necessary, seek the services of a counsellor, psychotherapist, social worker, GP…..
Reflect: Spend time analysing and reflecting on the whole event and ask yourself if the relationship/friendship is worth salvaging. Once you’ve taken time to reflect on the issue, you may proceed with a cautious confrontation. Confront the issues that led to the betrayal. It’s important you have all the correct information/facts before any confrontation and when you decide to take that step ensure you are clear, direct and exercise a bit of restraint on your temper.
Take things easy: Don’t be so hard on yourself because you were betrayed. There is always a tendency for you accept unnecessary blame for the turnout of events or resort to harmful practices as a means to alleviate the hurt. Cut yourself some slack and be encouraged by things that give you meaning.
Let go: Let go of your emotions constructively. Cry if it will make you feel better, take long walks. Don’t be embarrassed at it. Whatever you do, make sure it’s constructive and makes you feel better after all you are the one that’s been BETRAYED!!!
Build Courage: It’s a difficult and painful experience but you’ve got to sum up the courage and acknowledge betrayal is a part of life. If managed properly it equips you with a better understanding for future relationships with friends, family, colleagues…….
Integrity: Show some dignity in dealing with a betrayal. Be a man or woman of few words and manage the whole situation with your integrity intact.
Reconcile: Keep an open heart and mind to reconciliation. It’s difficult, but learn to forgive and move on.
Set Goals: Be determined to come out of the whole experience of betrayal stronger with new ideals, thought patterns and character.
Get Inspired: Be inspired/empowered by listening to, reading and watching positive media that will contribute to uplifting your spirits which results in strengthening your emotions while going through the betrayal.
Build Your Self Confidence: Look for constructive ways to rebuild your personality, self confidence and esteem.
Think Constructively: Think carefully and constructively on your future actions in old and new relationships. Do you want to give it one more chance, take a break or walk away from it completely?
Face Your Fears: Face your fears by taking risks, building positive relationships, discussing or sharing them with friends, family…..
Network: Avoid being alone through the period of betrayal. Spend a lot of time with other friends, family, colleagues….. They could serve as listening ears and provide all sorts of encouragement.
Optimism: Show a bit of optimism in everything you do, it helps in putting the past behind you and gives you a positive approach to dealing with betrayal.
Hold Back On Revenge: I’m not sure if revenge is worth your time. It’s a display of maturity if you do not resort to the same tactics used or different game plans to hurt anyone.
Personal Development: Focus on your personal growth, appearance and development.
No Self Harm Please: Avoid all forms of self harm. Don’t turn to alcohol or drugs as a quick route to escape from the hurt or drown your sorrows. The pain will still be there in the morning along with a hangover!
Self Denial: Be secured in who, what and whom you are. Learn to deal with all your insecurities. Stop living in self denial and feeling sorry for yourself. Experiencing a betrayal is tough but think constructively and create a positive attitude around you. Work on building trustworthy relationships with other people. You must know what you want from a new relationship or friendship.
Use Your Intuition: Start paying more attention to your feelings, thoughts and intuition keeping your eyes open, heart protected slightly and head in place. Please note: This shouldn’t make you overbearingly suspicious of anybody, event or circumstance.
Stay Active: Be active. Research shows that there is a close relationship between your physical and mental health so try exercising, go dancing (Salsa), take a walk, start a hobby……….
Love Again: The toughest lesson is learning to love/trust again. It’s difficult but you’ve got to remember not everyone is going to act like your ex, friend, colleague, spouse….
Think Of The Future: Let your thoughts of the future be inspiring, memorable, motivating and encouraging.
Stop Worrying: Worry less and develop a new focus. It reduces your anxiety levels and prevents you from constantly making all kinds of unnecessary assumptions.
Celebrate Your Progress: You’ve been betrayed, so what!!!! Be happy with any progress or changes you make in any sphere of your life using it as a springboard to developing new friendships or relationships.
Patience: Exercise a lot of patience when experiencing a betrayal. It allows you handle various situations with confidence and assurance knowing a solution definitely exists.
Seek Professional Help: Where/When necessary, seek the services of a counsellor, psychotherapist, social worker, GP…..
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